Sorrow - how life would be so much better if we didn't have to deal with it! No one enjoys those moments of pain. Sometimes one feels all alone in those times of grieving. It looks different for each and everyone of us, but for me, it was the loss of my mother on January 19, 2018. A moment we knew would come one day, but like everyone, always wishing that day would come later.
Her health hadn't been the best, but it wasn't the worst, and she had been showing signs of getting better. She ended up in the hospital as the doctors couldn't stabilize her blood pressure. The next day we got the phone call that we needed to come to the hospital to say our good-byes. That morning, before we got the call, I woke up and looked out the window and saw the sun rise and I thought of the song "10,000 Reasons" which says:
"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning,
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes."
Little did I know that my mom would pass that evening. I guess I had expected a long drawn out process, where she might gradually lose consciousness. My mom was alert to the end, able to talk and recognize people, etc. While there was lots of family gathered together, I was able to hold her hand til she passed into the Lord's presence. She held my hand when I came into this world - I got to hold hers when she left.
"And on the day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forever more."
While not about me, I applied those words to my mom. She's no longer in pain or suffering. Eternity has just begun for her. On this side, I still can sing God's praises. While I miss my mom, I'm thankful that we got to talk to her before she passed. I'm thankful she was able to be in her home except for the last 36 hours of her life. I'm thankful she could make decisions on her own. She was able to give advice and encouragement.
I realize that not all situations are like this. Sometimes it is more difficult to be thankful in times of sorrow. Sometimes sorrow reveals bare emotions, and emotions can sometimes lead us to places we never intended to go in the first place. Yet, taking time to sit and thank God for what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do helps keep the focus on God, and not dwell on what we lost or what we don't have any more.
"Bless the Lord, of my soul, oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul,
I'll worship Your holy name!"
As I sit and play that song on the piano, or sing a long with it on the radio, I thank God for giving me a mother who developed in me a love of music, who encouraged me to draw and paid for drawing and painting lessons, who always took us to church so we could learn about God and His expectations. I also thank God that she was able to see my book published. Praise the Lord, oh my soul.
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